Thursday, February 15, 2007

Too Much Sadness

I just finished talking via Skype to my friend who lives in England. His mother is in the very end stages of pancreatic cancer. After we "hung up", I checked my email only to find a missive from a former student who is about my age. She is concerned about her mother who is not well and sits in her chair all day only getting up to use the bathroom. I next read a letter from my father--I used to get letters from both of my parents every single week--and he reports that my mother sits in her chair and sleeps most of the day. She, too, only gets up to use the bathroom. Life has its sad times, but this is too much sadness all at once.

2 comments:

Rach said...

I'm so worried and saddened for Paul and for Grammy as well. You are correct, this is too much sadness at once.

I'm very sorry for your student as well, as watching one's parent deteriorate is an excruciating experience, as well you know.

Jess said...

I think sometimes that we can be so focused on preserving life, any life, with modern medical advances that we forget that quality of life is so very important. I really admire Paul's family for choosing to let his mother pass in relative comfort without a lot of extra medical procedures that would only extend her life by weeks at the most.

I've seen Grammy 5 times in the last year and with each passing visit she seems to fade even more. She does have an occasional lucid moment but they are few and far between. I'm not sure she would have wanted her life to end in this way. She is relatively comfortable now that she is just existing rather than living. Grandfather is the one I am more concerned about. He gets little to no exercise any more and he is slowing going stir crazy in the house all day being a companion to a woman who really doesn't really communicate much beyond asking for her most basic needs to be fulfilled.